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Note: Although the material covered in this class has tremendously rich diagnostic significance for acupuncturists as well as herbalists, the specifically herbal material presented in this class is intended to be used only by licensed herbalists. A full working knowledge of Chinese diagnostics and common standards of herbal prescription will be assumed. Prescribing herbs without sufficient education is dangerous.

Excerpt from “Cinnamon Twig Soup with Dragon Bone and Oyster Shell”

“Most people think of this as the good old Shang Han Lun standard, as the thing you do for wind cold, right? In a deficient situation, where they’re sweating. Wind cold and wind heat are amazing things, and I must say, that the six stages of cold-induced disorder bear an uncanny resemblance to the six stages of love-induced disorder. All the way from the crush, straight through to the divorce. It’s amaaazing. It’s amazing! And it’s all done with mirrors, just like any Lung pathology, you see what you see out there and fall in love with that’s a reflection and all the longing and perfection and paradisial nonsense that we open ourselves to—it all starts with that, like Tony in West Side Story, that, ‘Could be—who knows?—there’s something just out of reach, down the block on the beach, soon as it shows—I got a feeling there’s a miracle…’ You know that whole thing?

It’s like, this guy is just like, you know that Gary Larsen cartoon, with the deer, with the, ‘Heck of a birthmark you got there Hal,’ you know? It’s like, guys, once he’s in that state, it’s like that overly open, Mai Men Dong to the maximum, and then the next thing you know, ‘I just caught a cold named Maria.’ Suckerrrrr.

Here you are, in that crazy thing, romantic love, it will take you for such a ride, and it could kill you! It’s often fatal, you know? Dangerous thing. Okay yes, often we resolve these things before they actually do become fatal, most of the time. We’re like, ‘Out of that relationship, done with that bitch!’ Til, you know, we catch the next one, and go through it again. I actually, on my website I have this whole thing, I think it’s on the website in the articles section, the six stages of love-induced disorder, where I go through the whole danged thing, including the formulas, you know, so I’m not going to go through the whole thing there. The Shao Yang stage, the minor Bupleurum, Xiao Chai Hu Tang, is fantastic for the malarial stage of relationships, where you’re sick of each other, you gotta be together, ‘I don’t wanna be near her, I’ve gotta be with her.’ It’s just the on-again, all of this stuff, it works out really well, ‘No I can’t, yes it’s definitely a Thea Elijah special.’ But I notice this.

So, at any rate, Gui Zhi Tang is really good for the first stage of cold-induced disorder, or love-induced disorder, in a weak constitution, where, how shall we do this, I don’t wanna talk about it. Um, it all has to do with the process of you and I becoming we, how we-making happens, and our longing for that process known as we-making. The longing to become, the longing for me to no longer be me anymore, I don’t wanna be me, I wanna be we. Couldn’t we be we together? And the kind of preemptive and somewhat, ah, this reckless opening into we before it’s quite time for that. Like, I open my pores and what comes in? A cold wind, or a cold shoulder. I’m like, ready to we-make, and then [sniff], ‘Uh oh.’”