The Heart Mediator: Love Beyond Betrayal

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Excerpt from “The Heart Mediator: Love Beyond Betrayal”

“Xin Bao Luo is the network of veins, or the network enveloping the Heart, that by which we receive love, that by which we allow the love that is around us to penetrate to our Heart. Some folks are like peonies—it’s wide open. You say, ‘I love you,’ and you see it go straight in. What a joy that is. What an incredible blessing. It’s one of the wonderful things about having dogs or children, it’s that their Xin Bao Luo is so peony-like, so open. I mean, those peonies—they don’t care about the wind and the rain—they’re going to brave the wind and the rain, and maybe their petals are going to get scattered all over the place! Fine. They’re open to love. They’re open to sunlight. They’re open to the wind and the rain.

And some people’s Xin Bao Luo is a little bit more like the opposite. I tell this story that I heard from Elisabeth Rochat de la Vallée about when Mitterand was President. He was doing some publicity thing where he was meeting with a street sweeper and they were going to have a photo op.

But something important—a family emergency came up for the street sweeper—and Mitterand had called him to invite him to meet at this place, but the street sweeper, trying to get a phone back into Mitterand, couldn’t get through, because the Xin Bao Luo, the network of communication—you have to go through this vein to that vein to this one to that one to this and, to get through the—how do I get through to you? How do I get it through to you that I care about you? And how many things go wrong in relationships because that doesn’t dawn on somebody? And so they take our words a different way than we meant them, or see things as a sign of—because we can’t get it through.

And how much do we let in, the love? [There’s a] CSNY song, how does that go, ‘I really want the sun // want the sun to rise // I really want to end the night // the night // I really want to feel // want to feel your love // I want to feel your love.’ It’s a song all about knowing that this person with him loves him and how he just, he knows he’s not getting it. It’s not coming in, it’s not really making it all the way through the Xin Bao Luo, the envelope around the Heart which, it’s meant to be this sense of completely embraced by love.

Half of the Heart Mediator is about completely embraced by love and feeling oneself and knowing oneself as the beloved, and this is a natural part of human longing and human health, about which at a certain point we say, ‘Well nevermind. Nevermind. I’ll make some money. I’ll get famous for something. I’ll see a bunch of movies. I’ll collect a lot of trains. Whatever, I’ll settle,’ but not any longer believing in that silly idea that a person could feel, to the Heart, from the skin, all the way through every drop of blood of my being, completely, utterly, loved and cherished. Take a look at newborns. They have no problem with it.”

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