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Excerpt from “The Wood Element: Falling in Love in the Healing Process”
“There are many different types of falling in love. We use this word to mean quite a number of different things, but I want to speak about the kind of falling in love that is particular to the Wood Element and to springtime, and particularly springtime after a long, hard winter. When spring comes after long, hard winter, it is exactly the energy of falling in love, a kind of ahhh, a kind of freedom, a throwing open, I’m free, and blossoms fill the air, the birds are twittering, the bees are humming.
It’s an incredible feeling, and it’s this Chai Hu feeling of opening, opening—oh my God, where will it end? This opening, opening. It’s the feeling of Gate of Hope opening again, something that seemed not possible, something that seemed closed forever. All of the sudden it is possible. Oh my goodness! I’m alive in a place where I thought I was dead, where I thought it was going to be winter forever, in this particular place. Every single winter, all the plants, they look dead, and then all of the sudden, we have these times of finding out, to our terror and thrill and wonder, that actually we’re not dead after all.
The places that seemed so stunted, so wounded, closed down, curled up, gone, can’t even feel it anymore. It’s deeper than pain, in a way, that kind of numbness, of the closed door forever, no hope. And then the stirring, then the movement, you mean I could?
This is the power of treatment room crushes. The clients falling in love. Students, teacher. Whether you know that it’s practitioner-client or teacher-student or not, there are a lot of falling-in-loves that happen. Your spirit on my spirit awakens a part of me that I thought was long-dead.
I’m carrying this wolf doll around because I’m in a kind of falling-in-love with someone who’s very wolf-like—he calls himself ‘wolf’—and I swear I feel like I’m five years old, and something in me that cried, cried piteously at the age of five, and decided that it wasn’t possible to fly and be alive in this particular way, for some reason in the presence of this etheral wolf-boy, is coming back out again, and it’s COMING OUT LIKE CHAI HU! It comes out like a shout, it comes out like AHHHHHH! The shout, the yell, the jump. All this rushing wildness of just what spring is about. It’s cacophonous, it’s mad. Falling in love! Whoa! The tumult in the Heart, it’s just amazing.
So this happens in relationship, and you can think that this is a sign that you should jump into bed, get married, have kids, whatever, um, if you do that, then when the part of you that is coming back to life finishes coming back to life, it’s suddenly going to be a very boring relationship, because you’re done. When the door opens, the one who opens the door is magical. While the door is opening it’s magical, and it comes out full force. These springtime crushes are TREMENDOUS, and what kind of being careful do we need to do during a springtime crush, during a Chai Hu falling-in-love? Well, you want to let the door open because you want your own aliveness. It’s ultimately the recognition that, ‘Oh, what I’m feeling is the feeling of rapid growth.’ Sometimes what we mistake for falling in love is the feeling of rapid, rapid growth.”