Self-Assess and Field-Assess: Should!

Here’s a second excerpt from my upcoming WHC mini-Intro class called “Self-Assess and Field-Assess: You Can’t Push the River.” (see previous blog for Part 1) This monthly mini-intro is for anyone who has been interested in learning more about the practical value of Whole Heart Connection practices. I do one of these mini-Intros on different topics on the 3rd Sunday of every month, and it is by donation only, so come one, come all!

This particular monthly mini-class on July 20 has to do with why sometimes our life seems to have a quality of flow—everything we do just works somehow. At other times, it all feels like a series of snags and dead ends. How do we get back into the state of flow? It requires a shift in the quality of our attention, which I call “Self-Assess and Field-Assess from the Heart.” In the video excerpt below, I talk about one of the most common obstacles to entering the flow state: how “Should” (theory-agenda) disrupts our ability to field-assess.

After “I want!”, The other major disruption of our capacity to self-assess and field assess is “Should!” This disruption comes more from the upper dantien. Should is like a bulldozer moving from here into the future. It’s like an axe coming down on freedom of perception. Thus it becomes very hard to field assess from the heart, once we’re in “should”

Try this. You can make up a few “shoulds” to stomp around in, and just see how good your field assessment skills are while you’re doing that.

People who are in “should” often have their head and neck craned forward. This is very unfortunate because a lot of people end up with their head and neck crane forward due to their computer usage—and then they get stuck like that. They didn’t even mean to be in “should,” but they got stuck in a posture of head-craned-forward, and now it’s very hard for their head and heart to be in alignment anymore. They are should-ing their way forward, and they didn’t even start out that way on purpose.

The WHC exercise of turning your head from the back of the head and neck is very helpful for restoring the alignment between the head, heart and gut, all the way down the back.

“Should” is a potentially brilliant aspect of self-assessment when we recognize: “Oh I have ideals.” Perhaps they are very lofty ideals. It only takes a small typographical shift to move from “should” to “could.” When “should” slides out of the driver’s seat, into the passenger seat, it becomes “could.” “Could” is a possibility; I see it in the future, and it’s so close! I know it’s possible! Nobody else around here seems to know that it’s possible. We could! And it would be so much better!

When those ideals, those visionary “coulds,” are in the passenger seat, this allows the heart to field assess, which changes how we enter into what’s happening now.

Just as a personal note, I am terrible at this. I get so “should,” it’s like a woodpecker. I’m banging my head against whatever is going on, because it should! It would be better! You would be happier!

I’m not proud of that. I do notice it, too late sometimes. You could remind me of it. I not only give you permission, I urge it, in all the places where it “should” be more like this or that, and nobody’s listening to me. Why? Because I’m coming in like a vigilante. I’m pushing the river, and there’s no sense of compassion—just superiority. People, surprisingly, don’t like that.

Another possibility (which I will be seeking to embrace) is saying to myself, “Yes, yes darling. You’re so passionately idealistic. That’s wonderful. It’s part of self-assessment, to discover that you have these amazing visionary ideas. It’s so cool. However, as you also field assess, what’s the next baby step?”

How do we get out of Egypt, all the way to the Promised Land? Just this next step, then the next. How do we listen, listen, listen for that next step? Listen, and self-assess. Listen, and field assess.

I hope that what you are hearing is no shaming of our visionary ideals. It’s terrific; go on out there and rock the boat, but rock it in rhythm with the waves. Don’t push the river; just rock the boat from your self-assessment and field assessment from the heart. In that heart-centered field of compassion, people feel felt, even as we rock the boat.

---

There is no flow state that comes from trying harder. Less thinking. More flowing. Be the dance partner with life. Discover how in just two hours. Come and join us on July 20, 2025 for You Can’t Stop the River.