Seven Popular Non-Healing States

This weekend, I am doing a class on Healing and Non-Healing States. I originally designed these teachings for my own clients, as a way to help them get the most out of going to a healer… because there are so many ways that we can unconsciously block a healing without even realizing it. Here are some broad outlines of that material:

The healthy healing of pain takes place in the context of a heart that is open and present, connected to the Big Heart, and a self that is aligned between heaven and earth. This is a healing state; when we are in a healing state, healing happens naturally. We do not have to make it happen.

Often, however, despite being in significant amounts of pain, we are not in a healing state. We may have lost heart. We may have lost our connection to heaven and earth. We may be trapped in secondary causes of harm, or opportunistic infections. Some of this may be unconsciously self-inflicted.

Often our first response to pain, in ourselves or in others, is to “make it stop” i.e., coping or management. Healing does not happen—cannot happen—while we are in a coping response to pain. We refer to these as “non-healing states.”

Seven Popular Non-Healing States: 

Head not Heart: Managed Fragility to Avoid Pain

Instead of connecting honestly with what we are feeling, we can explain the feeling with a heady voice that says, I’m feeling dah, dah, dah. We can spin theories and stories, and analyze it endlessly. Ultimately, when we are in our head not connecting directly with the pain, it is because we need WAY more support from the Big Love. Practices that help us connect to, and receive, the Love are necessary. Flower and Sun, being with your dog, praying Yah Rahman Yah Waduud, are examples from many possibilities.

Not in Body: Human Confetti  

This state may also be about insufficient resource of Love to be able to connect honestly with what we are feeling, but it also may be lack of existential courage to obey Destiny’s order: Be! Exercises like Heart and Pilot Light, and Full Weight, Ancestral Weight can be helpful.

Listening to Xie (demon whispers), Not Xin (divine whispers): Free Choice 

It’s ok to hear and clearly name the voice of the demon whisper; it’s not ok to listen and believe it. This is the all-important 3 Chairs/Demon Voices exercise.

Pain Artist: Emotional Smokescreen 

There can be a lot of expressive drama and poetry that is actually an avoidance of the real pain deeper down. The drama may be sincere, but it’s not ground zero. Ask yourself, What might I be feeling, underneath this? Is there a deeper layer? What’s underneath that?

Doctrine and Absolutes: The Devil Quotes Scripture 

Doctrines and absolutes are designed to be conversation-stoppers. Even if they are ‘true’ and contain what appears to be good advice, they are effectively a fancy way of saying “shut up and don’t process this any further; just suppress it.” Religious people and experts are particularly prone to this. It’s a form of dominance disguised as help. Many of us do this to ourselves with self-talk and ‘good advice.’ Sometimes it may literally be scripture, but it can be spoken with unholy intent. 

Blame: Don’t Look At Me! 

We are not in a healing state when we are projecting our attention outward rather than coming home to ourselves first to find out, Where does it hurt? After having attended to our own healing, at least rudimentarily, then we are stronger when holding others accountable.

Suppressed Spinning Compass: Trying Very Hard and Getting Nowhere 

Spinning compass is what I call the state when you do not have your inner bearings, and insight is simply not possible—you’re too spun out. Suppressed spinning compass is what happens when we can’t admit to ourselves that we are in that unsettled state. Instead of taking the time to settle, anchor and align, we ‘suppress the mess’ and just start DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT. But all that outward effort is not actually coming from inner wisdom, so it gets us nowhere. Often pride is what keeps us from just admitting that we are lost. Mercy! Just be lost; it’s the first step towards finding our inner compass again.

What can we do instead?

In my next blog, we will look at three healthy pain response categories: 

1) first aid, 2) healing, and 3) walking. 

Would you like to learn more about Healing and Non-Healing Pain? Join Thea for WHC Making Connections: Healing and Non-Healing Pain